How I became a Tri-athlete – An Invisible Disability
Well, its not a short story, but I will promise you an interesting read.
I moved to Chapel Hill on August 22, 2007, not much more than a year ago. I came here ostensibly to get to know my niece and nephew more intimately, but truly to change my life. You see, I was on the road to nowhere and was on that road for several long years.
Shortly before September 11, 2001, I had a serious nervous breakdown that left me unable to care for myself. I moved home shortly before my 41st birthday and began my decedent into a level of depression and anxiety that I have never known before. I became disabled and despondent. In no short order, I went from an active, full-throttle career woman in NYC to a shell of a woman living under the covers in complete despair.
At the same time, I am also burdened with a chronic kidney disease that flares under stress and has remained chronic for my entire life. It results in low energy, chronic pain and a genuine feeling of lethargy that left me fairly immobile for several years to come.
To make matters more difficult, I developed plantar fascitis and severe ankle pain from taking Cipro (soon to be known for causing ligament damage in long-term users). It was hard to walk and my condition was quite advanced. I am still recovering and it has been nearly 2 years since my first flair up.
With this life under my belt, I figured why not just give up? I did. I gave up. I was awarded disability and stayed in the family apartment in New Jersey. However, this wasn’t working out for my parents who I presume where sick of me and so forth….
I moved to Chapel Hill on a two-month sublet to get out of my parents wrath and rage at me for being ill.
The beginning of my Recovery starts here.
With nothing to do in Chapel Hill, I decided to dedicate myself to getting better both physically and emotionally. I joined Meadowmont Wellness Center and got started “in the slow lane.”
Here I am in chronic emotional and physical pain, but nevertheless, I got up, drove to Meadowmont and got in the pool for one lap at a time. The reality was that I could only swim one lap before I was completely winded. So, I would swim and rest, swim and rest and swim and rest.
I began and maintain my recovery through a committed swimming regime and extended my routine with yoga, walking and the occasional step class. All of this taking place over a one-year period of continuous work and rigor. Within this year, I hurt my rotator cuff, split my finger open on the gym equipment, had plantar fascitis flare-ups, and had two-emotional wipeouts in the ladies room and countless upsets in the pool. I also moved 8 times (no kidding.)
My point is, it was hard on my heart and I did it anyway. I decided I wasn’t going to finish at 50 where I finished at 41. I was going to be what I call an “over-comer.” I was and did overcome my deepest fears and anxieties and broke through my physical limitations like never before. I am a success in spite of my disabilities.
To celebrate my success, several wonderful members at Meadowmont suggested Ramblin’ Rose. I was hesitant and could not envision me doing any such event. After all, the anxiety alone would put me under. So, I waited, waited and waited and then said aloud, “YOU GO GIRL.” I joined with a charity slot (hey, I waited to long to get a regular slot….lol).
So, on the not so sunny Sunday, October 19, 2008, I completed my first Triathlon and broke a finish line I never dreamed of crossing. I crossed a barrier that could have broken me had I not believed that I could do it and did do it with the help of many wonderful volunteers and a driver spirit that came from the crowd of volunteers that shared the unstoppable enthusiasm for us all.
This is my story and I share it to inspire anyone who may have given up or just can’t get on a different path, YET. The best part of Ramblin’ Rose was the celebration of good health and the spirit of team work that generates confidence, inspires achievement and encourages the “not-so-athletic” woman to give it a real go!
