Posted by: Mandy Beard
on Jan 09, 2009
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How about this for a New Year's Resolution: Ditch New Year's Resolutions. Why? They rarely stick. It can be beneficial to reflect on what changes we want to make in our lives and to identify habits that we want to leave with the previous calendar year. The overindulgence that comes with the holiday season leaves us primed for extreme and overly ideal desires for changing certain things. Before we know it, we declare that we will join the gym and lose 25 pounds as a way to start fresh. This is easy to say after finishing a calorie and fat packed holiday meal; A little harder to follow through on when it requires peeling our body out of bed before day light on a 30 degree morning.
Enter the concept: Unrealistic Optimism. Duke University Profession and researcher of Unrealistic Optimism, Kurt Carlson, says, "People seem to ignore all likely common constraints as if things are going to be ideal." He continued to explain that people know where they want to be with something and unconsciously gather information and a perspective to build a likely case. They know the end result they want and recruit support for this ideal without giving adequate (or any) attention to basic realities. They move forward with execution and then when these basic realities come up, they are derailed. Instead of learning from the realities and updating the ideal, they become defeated and then even the ideal fizzles away.
So how do we avoid the black hole of New Year's Resolutions? How do we shift our perspective from ideal to realistic? One place to start is to take stock of all aspects of life and to honestly evaluate where you are in all areas of life: Health& Wellness, Spirituality, Fun/Social, Family & Friends, Significant Relationship(s), Career, Personal Growth, and Finances. Without much analysis, rate your level of satisfaction with each of these areas of life. Take a brief overview of how balanced (or out of balance) you are by noticing how evenly round your pie is? Is one or two areas of life throwing off your balance? If so, spend some time drilling deeper to better understand this satisfaction level: what do you want this area of your life to look like? If you are only 50% satisfied, why and what makes you less than 100% satisfied? This is also your opportunity to be idealistic; give this voice in your some space.
Looking at our lives through this life wheel exercise provides a bigger picture perspective than the post holiday meal blues allows for. It is a structured way to see where you are out of balance and truly where you are not satisfied so that you can set yourself for longer term, more impact change. It may also bring to light some hidden areas of dissatisfaction or provide some clarity about where and why your life is really out of balance.
Posted by: Mandy Beard
on Nov 04, 2008
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I am just plain lucky. I work with such a positive and can-do group of people. It is very refreshing to be surrounded by people who are positive, solution oriented, willing to span the loose boundaries we have between job responsibilities and to work hard. Not to mention their contributions to the actual work environment and all the good laughs we have!
These same people lead thoughtful, balanced lives, are dedicated to their families, care about their impact on the environement and treat themsleves and others with a high amount of respect. They also stay committed to their health and their bodies. Again, I am just plain lucky to be a part of the Endurance Magazine Team. Thanks to you all!
Posted by: Mandy Beard
on Oct 24, 2008
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Gaining and keeping perspective on "what is really important in life" is a skill that I am learning needs to continually be cultivated; gaining this perspective on occasion doesn't ensure its permanence. In fact, nothing is permanent. There are so many opportunities for getting micro in our lives - shaving seconds off our time for a PR; Budgeting to the dollar; Pretzel sticks or pretzel rods in lunches this week?; Shorts or running pants for my run this morning?; I said this, should I have said that instead? -- Yes, this moment to moment decision making is part of navigating daily life. But getting stuck here is a potential hazard.
What I realized recently while pumping gas - my fist gripping the lever as if that was going to make the gas flow faster (ha!) - was that we have to consciously and continually step back to remember what is really important; What really matters to us? After I posed this question to myself while standing there pumping gas, I felt my shoulders soften, I really noticed the sunlight hitting the dew on the grass, I felt a sense of gratitude for my health and that I was able to go out for a run on this brisk morning, and I remembered the soft expression on my daughters face as she excitedly bounced into school this morning holding hands with her friends.
Pausing long enough between all of our doing and micro managing of our lives to gain perspective is a skill that has to be cultivated. We have to train ourselves to regularly stop and ask: What really matters? It is even helpful to use clues from our bodies or something in our everyday lives to remind us to gain this perspective in that moment. The balance in life that comes from leveling out our micro thinking with a big picture perspective (imagine a see-saw with equal weight on either side) can be very freeing and peaceful!
Posted by: Mandy Beard
on Oct 02, 2008
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I have always been a rule-follower and as a child I worked hard to keep the peace in a household of 4 kids and many pets. So how come now, at age 35, is my own form of rebellion surfacing? And it comes out in such an interested disguise --as a triathlete rebel!
I love to run and my routine runs feed my soul. A few months ago I decided that it would be fun to expand my horizons and push myself to participate in Endurance Magazines three Ramblin' Rose Tour events. I jumped right into training and participated in Ramblin' Rose Winston Salem in late August. It was a blast and I really enjoyed incorporating swimming and a bike ride into my routine.
This weekend I am participating in event #2 of 3 -- RR Charlotte. Yet the past 2 weeks, I have been at war with this rebellious part of me that does not want to get on a bike or get in the pool -- I just want to run! Although frustrating, I feel well trained enough to participate and remain healthy yet the bigger challenge I face is to garner a better understanding why this creature is re-directing me to the trails. At minimum -- it has provided lots to think about on the awesome brisk morning runs!
Posted by: Mandy Beard
on Sep 25, 2008
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Cutting checks for our SPORToften.com customers who process online registration for events may not sound like a very meaningful work task; I can't say that it always is. But, I had an awesome awareness recently that shifted this mundane task into a new category for me. I was clicking away on the data entry for these checks when I came upon the regsitration report for Girls on the Run of the Triangle. This organization is near and dear to my heart (I used to work for GOTR Triangle and I care a lot about the organization).
As I typed in the data, printed the check, signed it and stuffed it in the envelope, I was keenly aware of all the work and effort that went into raising the funds that this check carried. I accutely remembered being on the receiving end of such checks -- waiting for the money from one of our events that I had worked on. I was leading a non-profit on a shoe-string budget so this money usually meant that I could charge ahead with some program expansion that I had been striving for; We could serve more girls with this money.
All this to say, cutting checks has a new meaning. As I perform this task bi-monthly, I am simultameously (mentally) acknowledging the hard work of someone on the other end and grateful for the good they are doing in this world -- grateful that they are in some way promting healthy lifestyles in their community. Happy cashing!
Posted by: Mandy Beard
on Sep 24, 2008
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I was recently privileged to a conversation with a group of women about our ever growing mentality of "not enough:"
...There is not enough time in the day, my house is never clean enough, I don't dress stylish enough, I can't seem to get on top of things at work, I don't give enough individual time to my kids, I am not fit enough, I wish I felt like I was a better wife, I will never be able to do enough to have an impact on the deteriorating environment, I am not in tune enough with what is happening in the world...
How is it that we have grown into the not enough clothes and decided that they will be our most comfortable and regularly worn outfit? Who gave us this outfit anyway?As I listened to the discussion unfold, it occurred to me that this "not enough" thinking is an undercurrent of so much of our lives and it is one of the very things that lowers of self worth and takes away from the meaning that comes from being in the present moment.
Posted by: Mandy Beard
on Jul 01, 2008
It's not very often that I get to do an early morning run anymore. But WOW --
when I get to, it is amazing! Not only was it 60 degrees and slighly crisp this morning, it was quiet, the trails were clean, my body felt rested and my stride was easy. I recently abandoned using my ipod for the daily runs and started focusing on my breath. This morning, I was on about my tenth deep inhale when my face was adorned with the hard night's work of a spider. My first instinct was to feel sad that I had washed away this work of art. But the sadness eventually morphed into thoughts and feelings of freedom. Who am I to assume that it is discouraging that the web disappeared? Maybe it is just the opposite -- maybe it opens new doors and brings an optimism for new things ahead? Maybe is it freeing to have a fresh start - every 24 hours.
When I wake up, I try to remember that today is a new day -- each day, I try to pause before getting out of bed to remind myself that I am free to start afresh today and MAKE today whatever I want to make it. So as I ran through web after web this morning, my concern for wrecking the work of spiders blossomed into an enormous sense of freedom -- start new; each day. Needless to say, it was a great run!
