I Am a Woman

Posted by: Joe Nuss

Tagged in: Run , Lifestyle

I am a woman, I am a runner. Much of my experience being a woman has overlapped with the power I get from being a runner. When I run I feel beautiful, powerful, and real. The pieces of myself that I share throughout the day are all assimilated back into one beautiful tapestry . . . one amazing piece of reality . . . one experience that is mine and mine alone. The physicality of it provides me with a powerful reminder that my body is capable, strong, powerful, and MINE. Every time I run, I make a statement to the world, "I own my action, my body, my thoughts, and my experiences. I am not an object to be sexualized, diminished, or dominated. I am real. I am human. I am spirit manifest within this strong, healthy, and beautiful physical body. Honor that which rests within me."

And this is where Leigh's story hits me.

Leigh is a new Girls on the Run council director. I had the privilege of meeting her at one of our recent Girls on the Run trainings in Charlotte, NC.

Over the course of two days, women from across the nation descend on Charlotte for a two-day, very intense Girls on the Run training. Participants take back tangible tools and systems to efficiently deliver the Girls on the Run program. What remains with me are their stories. Frequently wrapped into and around a woman's story are her struggles in battling our culture's obsession with bodies, sexuality, and power.

I've got to be honest with you, when I met Leigh I was intimidated by her. Her physical strength is obvious. She is one of the strongest-looking females I've ever met. Her energy, though, was a bit reserved. She was probably intimidated by my extroversion and wide-open persona. We had a kind of mutual intimidation society, if you will: me of her physical presence and she, of my emotional one.

After a day together, Leigh e-mailed me her story.

As a little girl, Leigh was tough. In her words, "I was the athletic girl in my grade and this made me popular with the boys. I knew that they respected my athletic ability and my power and I really liked that. I didn't feel pretty, but I guess I probably thought I was cute in a way. I didn't see myself as a tomboy but I did relate well to boys and worked very hard to prove to them that even though I was a girl, I could still do most of what they could do."

But something happened around middle school. Like many girls, Leigh stepped into the Girl Box, a place girls often go around sixth grade with heartbreaking results. At this vulnerable age, the formerly vibrant and strong Leigh began to morph into a girl overly occupied by her appearance. First it showed up as restricting her food intake, then it appeared as overindulgence. There seemed to be no end to the madness, yet running was the one safe space in the day where Leigh felt some degree of control. She won championship races in ninth and tenth grade and got third her senior year in the Kansas State Championships.

Appalachian State came knocking at her door. The move to Boone brought with it an opportunity to buckle down, focus on her love for running, and get on track with her eating. With a renewed sense of self and a desire for comfort in her skin, Leigh appeared on the ASU campus.

But changing locations didn't prove to be the remedy she had hoped. With her continued obsession with weight, Leigh was sidelined by stress fractures and distracted by her roller-coaster relationship with the scales. Her first year at ASU certainly didn't shake out to be what she had hoped.

And then IT happened.

September 29, 1989, Leigh set out on an early evening run. Planning to be back by 6:30, she and her boyfriend (now husband) would then go out for a nice dinner together.

A light rain began to fall when the car slowly approached. A very scary man sat at the wheel. "Get in," he demanded, pointing to the passenger seat with his gun. Not knowing what to do, Leigh agreed.

What occurred over the next several hours is unthinkable. He drove Leigh to a remote area outside of Boone. With a frightening and disturbing sense of calm and coolness, he raped her while psychologically tormenting her with threats of death. At first, before the numbness set in, all she could think about was how loved she was. "My mother will miss me when I die," she thought. A strange sense of gratitude seemed to float down upon her shoulders, as the violence raged around her . . . an overwhelming and gentle gratitude for her body, her friends, her family, and her life.

 

Hour after hour, the torment continued. Somewhere over the course of that time frame, Daniel Lee shared with her that he had murdered another girl, Jeni Gray. He calmly described her slow, cruel, and painful death and threatened to do the same to Leigh.

Leigh managed to escape from Daniel Lee hours later at a gas station. At the trial, as Leigh testified, she intentionally stared her tormenter in the eyes, her proof to him and herself that she wasn't weaker because of this experience but was much stronger. Daniel Lee received the death penalty for murdering Jeni Gray. He died in prison, several years later, from a brain aneurysm.

After the kidnapping, Leigh was stronger, indeed. She went on to become a 2-time Southern Conference All-Conference performer in cross-country. In track she was named the Southern Conference Most Outstanding Performer. Upon graduation, she continued to train on her own and compete. She won several state and regional races and ran her 5K PR of 16:56. She teaches and coaches at the high school level, leading many athletes to victory in the state championships. Now, Leigh is prepared to engage third, fourth, and fifth graders in the Girls on the Run program.

She is married with two children, wanting first and foremost to be remembered as a remarkable mother, not an elite runner. She is loved, respected, and embraced by her family, her community and at last, herself.

I share this with you because it's important that our culture honors women like Leigh-that we eliminate our antiquated ideals of beauty and recreate them to include the stories of women who are strong, brave, and authentic. As I read the story that she so openly shared with me, I wept, my head in my hands and my heart in my throat, wondering how I could possibly honor someone as brave, courageous, and bold as she. And as I write to you, I recognize that no words could ever do justice to the pain of her experience, nor the power she has gained from it. But what I can offer comes from Leigh herself.

"I don't know . . . I guess I just love to inspire people. I love to see that light go on when someone realizes that being strong is one of the greatest feelings in the world . . . and to know that running makes you just as strong mentally as it does physically! To know that no matter what life's circumstances are and no matter how hard the world may seem to be trying to hold you back, that our own personal strength and belief in ourselves is something that no one can take away without our permission. I believe this more than I believe anything and am committed to helping others believe it too."

Leigh is, without a doubt, strength, beauty, and woman personified.

# # #

Molly Barker, M.S.W., is the Founder and Vision Keeper of Girls on the Run International and the author of "Girls Lit from Within: A Guide to Life Outside of the Girl Box." Learn more about Girls on the Run at www.girlsontherun.org.

Comments (13)add comment

Joni Renn said:

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Leigh has motivated me in so many ways in her spin classes. I never knew what she what incredible life hurdles she has run and jumped through. After reading her life chapters before I met her in the spin room, I have SO much respect for this woman who shares so much and teaches so much about life in a 45 min spin class! Thanks Leigh!
June 23, 2010

Coach Tamra Strano said:

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Also, tell Leigh to give Julie a big HI also. They both ran for me!!!
June 03, 2009

Coach Tamra Strano said:

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I am Leigh's former high school coach. She was always such a determined young lady and beautiful within herself and I am so proud of her and what she's become. I had heard about her experience and how she survived it and I did not doubt for a minute that she could and did. She developed a secret shirt that she and her fellow distance runners wore that made a statement that I think she'll remember. I am so glad to actually know and hear about her and her career. She'll be the most fantastic "MOM" in the world!!! Please tell her I think about her often!!!
June 03, 2009

Bill said:

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Have known your dad from OCS days - and your mom for the past several years, respecting both for the fine people they are. You are a great inspiration to all to hear your story - women, men, moms, dads, daughters and sons. God bless.

Bill
May 24, 2009

Elise Huntley said:

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My son Chuck shared your incredible story with me. This is such a good reminder to all us girls that our strength comes from within and not how we look. I will definitely share this with my two beautiful grandaughters. Elise Huntley
May 20, 2009

Chuck said:

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Thanks for sharing Leigh. You have always motivated me with your strength and determination physically. After reading this you motivate me emotionally even more. Thank you.

May 20, 2009

Bill said:

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While we have not met, your dad and I go back to OCS/Vietnam era days together and he shared your story with our Ft. Benning class last year. As a father of 5 and grandfather of 6, was deeply touched by your experience and the character + courage you demonstrated "under fire".

God bless,

Bill
May 19, 2009

Angela McLean said:

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Leigh,
You are the strongest woman I have ever met. You are truly an inspiration to me. Thank you for the encouraging words that you give me. You have helped me to learn how to change my life. Thanks again!!!
May 18, 2009

Molly said:

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Been reading Endurance since it started...this is the most touching story I've read from you all. Thank you so much for sharing. As a woman runner I totally understand how running makes your feel "beautiful, powerful, and real." Leigh's story was such an inspiration. Thanks Endurance, for this!
May 18, 2009

Leigh Wallace said:

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These comments are so nice! Thank you for your support.
May 01, 2009

Jeffrey said:

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Truly inspirational. I emailed this article to family and friends as soon as I finished reading it. I am heartened by girls being encouraged to get their self esteam from the inside.
May 01, 2009

Dana said:

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Wow, what an incredible story. I take Leigh's spin class a couple times a week. After the class, my friends and I talk about how inspirational she is...never really knowing the details of her story- her strength has always inspired me.
April 30, 2009

Tyler Wilkinson said:

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I'm glad the time was taken to publish a great peice on Leigh Wallace. I got the opportunity to run under Leigh while in Watauga High School, at the time I had no idea what a privilege it was. There's so much that girls and women can take away from such a talented and remarkable women. She has had an amazing impact on so many people and will continue to each day that passes. Thanks for everything Leigh.
Tyler Wilkinson
April 29, 2009

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